Brace yourself...

I just turned off comment moderation. Blogger finally added some kind of spam detection; I generally like Google's spam algorithms, so I'm going to give it a try.

So hopefully, my beloved stable of commenters (all ten of you) can comment free of impediment. :)

Revising and Procrastination

So I still haven't started writing yet. I think I've learned to take procrastination to all new heights, these days. I'll pick strawberries with the kids, play farmville, warhammer, go to the grocery store, but write? Heck no.

But a recent blog by Chris Baty has me wondering. What sort of revision efforts could NaNoWriMo help me with? He's asking for input on the kinds of revision tools you'd like to see.

Right now, we have the barest minimum. A couple of forums, the Critiques forum, and the Novel Draft Aftercare forum. Critiques is great, but only if you have something ready to critique. Aftercare is nice, but I'm not done yet.

I had a dream the other night. Apparently, my subconscious doesn't set its sights very high. I dreamed that I went to the mailbox, and my novel was in there. It was a paperback proof, had been retitled "Off the Shoulder" (I have no idea why) and was printed by the "Del Rey Discount Books" division. There was a contract in there... with a $1,500 advance written in. I remember the cover art being pretty cool, though.

I mean... really? My brain couldn't come up with NYT bestseller list, or a million dollar advance, or even a fully priced paperback? Oh dear.

I'm going to take it as encouragement, though. While I don't think Del Rey has a discount books division, I like the attainability of that dream. Million dollar advances are very rare-- but what I'm aiming for isn't a certain advance, or even the NYT list. It's purely, and simply, publication. My book, available in a bookstore near you, where I can go and front my books, and smile like an idiot while I point to it to the other customers and say "MINE!" while they back away slowly. I've thought (hard) about publishing some ebooks, but I still want the real thing.

So what are your writing plans? Are you writing for you? Are you revising something to be published? Going the self-publishing or ebook routes? Trying to convince the aliens in the back of your head that they can't destroy the planet because of your literary prowess?

Clever spammers

While checking the spam filter on the Script Frenzy forums, I came across the strangest thing.
It was a polite, nicely formatted response to the spam filter feedback form:

Kindly post my comment I'm not posting spam.

Thank you very much and more power..God bless..

Respectively Yours,

Gaile Seive

This isn't unusual; I often get confused, amused, or even angry feedback from users whose posts have been erroneous flagged as spam. This one struck me as odd though, because of the content of the post. It was responding to a question about asbestos and heat... this person posted the following on the thread:

"Asbestos is said to be carcinogenic and it contains variety ofchemicals that enhance cancer cells.They may also come in differentforms and as they have said this may be the result of potential toxinsthrough inhalation,ingestion and even through food intake andcigarette smoking.That's why this is very dangerous for mostmen.Prostate cancer may be one of the outcome cause of this asbestoschemicals.There's a new review that suggests screening and catchingprostate cancer early will not stop fatalities from the disease. Theresearch culled data from 2 decades of records, and it found thatindividuals who got regular screenings for cancer of the prostate werediagnosed with and perished from the disease at the same rate as thosewho did not get regular cancer of the prostate screenings. This mighthelp you decide what method is best for you when you sign up for apersonal unsecured loan for professional medical costs."

Notice that last line? Yeah. It WAS spam. For a loan! How strange that the spammer took the time to politely tell me they weren't spamming!

Clever, clever spammers. You are no match for my spam stomping powers! And for those who are curious, yes, I banned this very polite spammer. With prejudice.

Spanish Engrish

On the recommendation of a friend, I went and picked up some real Mexican hot chocolate... more specifically, handmade salvadoran chocolate tablets.

The short of it: milk, chocolate, and a cinnamon stick... boil and serve.

That's not the fun part. The best part were the directions. This is a direct transcription:

1) Dissolve one tablet of Salvadoran chocolate in two cups of milk or water.
2) Cook moderate fire. Constantly revolve.
3) Boil for one minute and retire of fire.
4) Serve hot

How awesome is that. You couldn't make this up if you tried.

Spanish Engrish

On the recommendation of a friend, I went and picked up some real Mexican hot chocolate... more specifically, handmade salvadoran chocolate tablets.

The short of it: milk, chocolate, and a cinnamon stick... boil and serve.

That's not the fun part. The best part were the directions. This is a direct transcription:

1) Dissolve one tablet of Salvadoran chocolate in two cups of milk or water.
2) Cook moderate fire. Constantly revolve.
3) Boil for one minute and retire of fire.
4) Serve hot

How awesome is that. You couldn't make this up if you tried.

Teeny tiny notebooks

While shopping for party supplies today for my 3 year old's birthday part tomorrow, I discovered something that quite literally made me squee in the store.

Yes, the lady the down the aisle from me looked at me funny.

But that's not the point. Look at this.

Yes. That is my thumb. It's about an inch long. And YES, it is a lined notepad. A real one, with about 25 or so pages.

Wait, it gets better.

Thumb-sized composition notebook.

What's not to love? I had a fit over these. I'm going to carry them around in my purse. And I 'm telling my ML about it, because these would make epic goody bag stuff.