A series of unfortunate lectures...

As an early Christmas present, my as-yet-unpublished favorite author in the world gave me a little... errr... lecture. You see, I have a problem. I start novels... but don't finish them. In the entire time I've done NaNo (since 2002) I have only finished TWO novels to the end.

Ms. Rebecca Blain was not happy with me. So she lectured me. And then wrote me a story about lecturing me. The words out of my mouth in this story are actual words I said while being lectured. And this is almost word-for-word how she lectured me.

The unedited end result is hilarious. ;) Although it stung. Quite a bit.

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It was so cold outside that the snow refused to fall. Heather hesitated at the door to the Creative Writers’ Fiction Association – Fantasy Branch Administration offices. The dragon carved on the frame glared at her as if knowing her sin.

Her knuckles scrapped against the rough-hewn wood. A splinter stuck out from her skin. The silence that followed was long enough for her to pick the sliver out and shuffle from foot to foot.

“Enter,” a muffled voice demanded.

Heather gripped the cold, bronze knob. The dragon continued to glare at her in rebuke. The door creaked open.

The woman behind the desk didn’t look any older than fourteen – maybe fifteen. Short-cropped hair shadowed the eyes of the superintendent, and Heather couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.

“Three minutes and forty-seven seconds,” Rebecca said, looking up from the stack of papers strewn over the large oak desk that dominated the cramped room. An expectant silence followed. When Heather said nothing, Rebecca let out a long sigh. “Late, that is.”

The woman’s sweet smile sent chills down her spine.

“That’s never good,” Heather replied, shuffling from foot to foot.

“No, ma’am, it isn’t. I’m so glad we didn’t have to talk very long about that part.” Rebecca leaned back and crossed her arms over her red sweater. “Why don’t you sit down, Heather.”

Heather hurried to obey, taking the seat that Rebecca gestured to with an expedient dip of her head. “Oh no,” she whispered.

“It has come to my attention that you haven't been finishing projects. This is very, very concerning. Would you like to talk about what has been going on?” The sweet smile didn’t fade from Rebecca’s lips, and the serene quality to it sent another shiver racing down Heather’s spine.

She shifted on the chair and stared down at the edge of the desk. Another dragon carving glared at her. “Well, it all started in 2008.” Heather’s laugh was forced from her throat. She clasped her hands on her lap to keep from shaking. “Well, 2002, technically.” She paused and glanced through her red hair hopefully. Rebecca watched and waited, as unmoveable as stone. “I begin many novels…”

The serene mask cracked in favor of an arched brow, but the woman across the desk didn’t speak.

“…but I don’t finish them. This is why I rebelled this year.”

Rebecca sighed, a long, drawn out and theatrical, and Heather trembled at the sound. “Do you understand the consequences of your behavior, Heather?”

She jerked her head in a nod and stared down at her white-knuckled hands.

“It is really important that you finish what you start,” the superintendent of the Fantasy Branch office continued. Another pause. “This is why I pulled you into my office today. How are you planning on rectifying this situation?”

Heather drew in a hissing breath between her teeth and shook her head in denial of the truth. She wouldn’t crack. She wouldn’t break beneath the pressure of that woman! The words splipped out before she could control herself. “By fucking finishing a novel. Preferably two.”

Silence.

Heather risked a glance upward. Rebecca was smiling.

That was never good.

“Yes, Heather, you are going to rectify this by 'fucking finishing a novel', as you so eloquently put in.
And, to ensure that you do, in fact, finish at least one novel, we're going to have to take some steps. Some important measures.” Now Rebecca was openly grinning, with blue eyes blazing with malicious delight.

A cold sweat dripped from Heather’s brow.

Rebecca made a trilling sound that reminded Heather of a cat’s purr. “It has come to our attention that you have a little... problem... with a certain story.”

The gasp came out unbidden. Tears burned in Heather’s eyes. She knew!  But how? She hadn’t told anyone – well, err, not that many people. It shouldn’t have gotten back to the superintendent. Who had betrayed her? Why? How?

The tips of Heather’s fingers tingled from the force that she clutched her hands together.

“We have spoken with the administrators that oversee this story and have made an arrangement with them to ensure that you maintain adequate productivity.  In short, if you wish to continue to have access to scenes as they are completed, you will need to display evidence of forward motion on the first project that you wish to finish,” Rebecca said. Another pause, and the woman’s grin widened further. “You will be required to hand in a status sheet upon the availability of each story piece so that we can determine if you have earned your privileges.”

Heather struggled against the urge to weep. Her one weakness, and that woman had found it.

Was the dragon grinning at her?! Heather glared at it, but the carving didn’t move.

“Do you understand, Heather? We really didn't want to have to go to such lengths, but we are very concerned about your recent progress and behavior.”

“Yes, ma’am,” she whispered.

Rebecca stood. “Very good. I expect to hear good things about you from now on, Heather….”

Heather squirmed and bobbed her head.

“… or else. You may go.”

Heather fled from the office.

The strangest motivators

Okay, so I got started on Camp, and then stared. And stared. And stared. I couldn't make the words come. I just couldn't figure out where to go next. I'm breaking a cardinal NaNo rule, and starting with a work in progress, but I have too many good, salable pieces in progress to start yet another one that would languish unfinished, so I promised myself I would finish at least one before starting a new one.

So you know what the random bit of social engineering did it for me this time?

Livestream.

It turns on my webcam, if I want it (I usually leave it off) and broadcasts my computer screen in live streaming video. I've had quite a few friends stop in for a chat, and it's been really, really fun. Nothing gets me writing like knowing that someone is literally looking over your shoulder while you write! What's cool is in addition to allowing me to tweak things like mic input and camera, I can also have it set to stream what's going through my speakers, so I can share the music I'm listening to with my watchers!

Very fun.

I got the idea from Kit Fox on the NaNo forums... so you should try it out, and post your link there for the rest of us crackheads to watch! It's gotten me through my mad stuckness, for the moment, and I have forward motion. It's not GOOD motion, but it's moving. I've picked up my 2007 NaNo, Heaven's Bounty, and plan on adding it.

Man, I am a crackhead.

A milestone reached

Last night I accomplished something truly great. See, if you remember from posts past, I like to write by hand, and purchased a journal-sized notebook to write in.

Well, as of last night, I've officially filled it up.

That's right... It's DONE. Well, not the story, I'm still moving forward on the story, but the book itself is very full, and I've started on a second.

Just LOOK! Look at the beautiful, and so very full pages!

Umm... ignore the chicken scratch.

So with that done, I've got a backup book on hand, that I've already continued on. I removed the handy THIS IS MINE ribbon from the red book and moved it to the brown.

I'm even continuing the page numbering from 249. I'm at the climax of the novel, just at the beginning of the big confrontation, and I've got FORWARD MOTION. I can't wait to write tonight.

I think I'll go do that now.

crossposted to heatherdudley.com

Progress and ruminations

I've been working steadily on Hacker Dragon. I'm up to 21,667 words as of this very moment. I feel like that's a truly respectable total, since this time last week, I only had about 13,000 or so. I'm finding it's hard to get back into Drakan's head; I'm not sure what the magic mix was when I first wrote her. She's there, I can *feel* her, but I haven't quite reconnected with her.

I'm pleased with the work. She's mellowed, some. I think it's me that's mellowed, truthfully. I think I was in a very turbulent time in my life then. It's no less turbulent now, but I'm coping better. I'm not in the grips of post-partum depression, though its lingering effects still hang in my mind like the unwanted cobwebs in my bedroom. I know they're there, I know I need to get the broom, but I can't quite bring myself to do it.

Such is the nature of depression, I suppose.

But I'm enjoying what I'm writing. It's not Great Literature or anything, and I'm not sure I will pursue traditional publication with this piece; it's leaning towards romance, although it may pull away into a respectable sci-fi piece by the time I'm done. If it does stay romantic, I may try Ellora's Cave, or maybe just plain self-publishing via ebook.

I have NOT given up traditional publishing for my other works; I just don't know if the world is ready for this one. :) I won't know until I'm finished, of course. I've got roughly a month before the CreateSpace deadline, and I think I'd like to print this one with it.

I don't know. This is a very experimental book, for me. It's outside of my comfort zone, it's different, and I don't think it has mainstream appeal, but I think it may very well find a very loyal audience in a certain niche.

Who knows, though, after I get the original version out, it may end up very different after it goes through editing.

I love writing. I love the mystery of it, the discovery. I'm a very visceral writer, I take a dream and I give it reality, and I enjoy learning where it leads. I've never been much of a planner.

And that, my friends, is my scattered brain dump for the day.

Picking up an old WIP

Mom cancelled on us, so I've got the whole day to myself. I've made two positive steps towards being actually productive.

1) Last night, I read over the piece I'm planning to continue. It doesn't suck, and although I think I need to back up and take the story in a different direction than it did from the last plot twist, I think I've got a good base, and some damn good characters to work with.
2) Just now, I opened Scrivener. I will follow this action by stopping to tweet about the action I just took, then make a blog post about it.
Hey, it's forward motion, right?

I think after that, I will move all of the text from the word doc I've got this saved on into Scrivener.

I've been trying to think of a new title, though. This piece is about a genetically enhanced computer geek who takes over a corporate network (think Shadowrun, but without most of the magical stuff.) just before another hostile organization takes over. This is literal hostility, including guns. She lets them take over, makes an arrangement with the leader of that organization, and is now playing cat-and-mouse with him. Romance ensues.

Quick bit of worldbuilding: Post apocalyptic thing, now humanity has a dual animal nature. Some are naturally more strong than others. Corporations rule the world (nah, I wasn't influenced by anything cyberpunk. I PROMISE.) Most people are regular animals of various sorts, some are myths. MC is a dragon, leader of organization is tiger (smilodon fatalis, to be exact.) It comes off less cheesy than it sounds, I promise.

Anyway, It's a sci-fantasy thing, heavier on the sci than the fantasy.

Current working title REALLY sucks: Hacker Dragon. Not the kind of thing I'd be proud to show off in public. So I have to figure out something different. I'd like this to be my CreateSpace submission, so I need a non-shitty title.

Now to figure one OUT. Any suggestions?

But I think I'll start working on my scrivener file first, so that I'm making more progress towards actually writing, rather than procrastinating with minutiae.

Revising and Procrastination

So I still haven't started writing yet. I think I've learned to take procrastination to all new heights, these days. I'll pick strawberries with the kids, play farmville, warhammer, go to the grocery store, but write? Heck no.

But a recent blog by Chris Baty has me wondering. What sort of revision efforts could NaNoWriMo help me with? He's asking for input on the kinds of revision tools you'd like to see.

Right now, we have the barest minimum. A couple of forums, the Critiques forum, and the Novel Draft Aftercare forum. Critiques is great, but only if you have something ready to critique. Aftercare is nice, but I'm not done yet.

I had a dream the other night. Apparently, my subconscious doesn't set its sights very high. I dreamed that I went to the mailbox, and my novel was in there. It was a paperback proof, had been retitled "Off the Shoulder" (I have no idea why) and was printed by the "Del Rey Discount Books" division. There was a contract in there... with a $1,500 advance written in. I remember the cover art being pretty cool, though.

I mean... really? My brain couldn't come up with NYT bestseller list, or a million dollar advance, or even a fully priced paperback? Oh dear.

I'm going to take it as encouragement, though. While I don't think Del Rey has a discount books division, I like the attainability of that dream. Million dollar advances are very rare-- but what I'm aiming for isn't a certain advance, or even the NYT list. It's purely, and simply, publication. My book, available in a bookstore near you, where I can go and front my books, and smile like an idiot while I point to it to the other customers and say "MINE!" while they back away slowly. I've thought (hard) about publishing some ebooks, but I still want the real thing.

So what are your writing plans? Are you writing for you? Are you revising something to be published? Going the self-publishing or ebook routes? Trying to convince the aliens in the back of your head that they can't destroy the planet because of your literary prowess?

Teeny tiny notebooks

While shopping for party supplies today for my 3 year old's birthday part tomorrow, I discovered something that quite literally made me squee in the store.

Yes, the lady the down the aisle from me looked at me funny.

But that's not the point. Look at this.

Yes. That is my thumb. It's about an inch long. And YES, it is a lined notepad. A real one, with about 25 or so pages.

Wait, it gets better.

Thumb-sized composition notebook.

What's not to love? I had a fit over these. I'm going to carry them around in my purse. And I 'm telling my ML about it, because these would make epic goody bag stuff.

The final run! 35k in 7 days

So I'm sure you've noticed. I'm behind. WAY behind. I've hit a wall of depression (unrelated to NaNo) and lack of motivation, but today is the day that I'm going to break through it and write anyway.

So who's with me? Who is going to race to the finish?

Will you beat me there? ARe you behind? So behind you don't think you can recover?

You can. I've done 50k in 10 days. Sure, couldn't use a keyboard for a month. But I DID it. And I'm going to do this.

Even if I have to start a war to do it.

Let the games begin.

When it rains, it pours

For the past week, I've been in a writing frenzy. I've picked up Pride of the Hunt, which I abandoned about halfway through NaNo last year, and even wrote several thousand words on Mortuus Rex; I haven't stayed up until 1 AM writing in months.

There's a change in the air; quite literally. I can feel fall coming, and with it comes my muse. I've programmed myself, over the last 9 years of doing NaNoWriMo, to feel writerly in the fall.

The forums get to buzzing, and now it's translated into writing motivation.

I've still got more to write on my handwritten novel. I need to focus on it, because my aim is to have it finished before November, but my other two stories (this is the prequel to Pride of the hunt, and is untitled) keep calling me.

Mortuus Rex has taken a turn for the darkly erotic; this isn't really like me, but it's been therapeutic. I'll probably plan on editing it harshly and toning a lot of the violence down. It's a damn good story, and I don't want it pigeonholed as erotica; that's not the point of the story. It IS a dark story (death and vengeance abound) but I don't want to get it lost in all the sex. Although the sex is awfully fun to write. ;)

Overall, though, I'm happy. My brain's buzzing with ideas, and this bodes well for 2010. Bring it, NaNo!

Writing by Hand

I'm getting close to the climax of the novel, and the end of the journal I'm writing in, and I'm wanting to start entering it into Liquid Story Binder, but I'm so, so committed to finishing this in handwritten form, first.

You see, when I first started writing, I didn't have a computer, or even a typewriter. So I wrote by hand; even though my handwriting is atrocious (so utterly, utterly atrocious, as you can see in the picture) it was what I had.

When I started using a computer, my handwritten tendencies fell by the wayside, and I noticed that my prose actually sounded worse. I type SO fast that my fingers get ahead of my head, whereas with the handwritten work, it forced me to take the time to write it out, so my head stays well ahead of my fingers.

So went and bought a lovely little blank journal, and started writing by hand again. It's worked.

It's also easier to write distraction-free, since I can't surf the internet with a notebook. I lay down in bed, every night before I go to sleep, and write. Sometimes just a paragraph or two, sometimes, a few pages that keep me up until I finish the scene. Always something.

Here's my lovely little journal. Red isn't one of my favorite colors, ordinarily, but I really love the design of this one. I added the little brown ribbon as a sort of "handle", and also use it to distinguish mine from my husbands that he accidentally purchased independently in the exact same cover.

I scribble away, and feel so very writerly. The best part about it is that it fits in my purse, so I can take it with me wherever I go. I could write on the iPod touch, sure, but it would be tedious, and iPod would always be attempting to correct my spelling. Shapewriter's fun, but too difficult to use for any length of time. And I MUST have a Pilot Precise pen.I prefer V5, but ended up accidentally buying V7. Lines are thicker, but it still looks good, so I can use them.

So I need to finish out this novel, and one day, when I'm published and famous, this will be something I can show off at conferences as how I got my start. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to hock it on ebay for a few thousands bucks, eh?

Unemployment means more writing time, right?

So I got laid off from my sweet, awesome job. This sucks for the finances, but you know something? This means LOTS of writing time. I've been carrying my little red notebook around, scribbling, and I've written probably around 20k in the past couple of weeks. I'm rather happy with that. At the very least, I write for an hour or two before bed. Today, I've spent most of the day with the notebook in my lap, writing a paragraph here and there between distractions (It's very hard to write with a toddler and a preschooler around.)

I've really begun honing my writing process. I do better without the distractions of computers and the internet when I'm getting my initial ideas down; so a little leather-bound notebook is the way to go for me. It just... feels right. It's how I learned to write, it's how I've always done it. The only thing that sucks is it makes my arthritis act up. To the universe: I know it seemed like a funny idea to give arthritis to a teenager, but that was WAY uncool. If it hurts this much now that I'm in my thirties, it's gonna suck when I'm all old and stuff.

My mother showed me a book one of her customers had handed her. It made me hurt for the author; it was clearly self published, too. A no-name publishing house, based locally. What makes me sad about these things is they sell themselves short; I scanned through the book, and her writing wasn't that bad. It could have stood a little professional editing, but overall, it seemed readable. She suffered from the terminal "said" disease (you know, the inability to use the word "said" in dialogue.) and there were some rambling bits. I was impressed with the quality.

It's never a good sign, though, when the author is giving away the books in convenience stores.

What bothered me more than anything wasn't the fact that this author published her own book, it's that she created her own "publishing company" that advertises its services to other authors, and that she didn't bother to get a professional to design her website. She didn't even get a separate URL for her publishing company... it's just her own name. "authorname.com", you know.

Here's something I'll tell anyone: If you're not a professional web designer? Don't do it yourself, and don't hire a friend who doesn't do it for a living. As with any business, using a professional makes all of the difference. As a web designer myself, I can promise... no you can't do it on your own. It's not something just anyone can do, and do well. There are elements of design that will show your lack of expertise. Do yourself a favor, and pay someone else. The investment will be worth it!

That reminds me... I REALLY need to start working on mine! After all, I'm officially a degreed web designer now... as of June!

Anyway, now that I've rambled on enough, I'll wrap it up, and I'll keep you updated on my progress. Heck... I think I'll break out the camera and take some pictures of my notebook for you.

With great inspiration, I write

Last night, I got inspired. You see, the night before last, I hada dream. It was a dream that hung with me all day, and I started thinking about it.

So I started writing. After a total 2.5 hours worth of writing? I'd jumped from 21,705 to 30,474. I hit my stride, and this story has exploded. It's not really related to my current NaNo, but I did the cheesy old trick of "meanwhile, in another part of the universe." This one, I fully expect to hit 50k before the month is over, so I'm keeping the words. To see my erratic performance this year, click the widget to open up my progress report.

I love this. This is how NaNoWriMo is supposed to feel. 8,776 words in 2.5 hours, so excited I can barely contain my enthusiasm or stop writing. I was up till 2 AM last night. That's what I missed. I will post an excerpt from the piece I'm working on, and tell you more about it as it gels soon. For now, I must WRITE.

Today, I'm about to embark upon the terrifying prospect of upgrading my computer from Windows Vista to windows 7. I found a deal that offers a copy of Windows Home Premium or Windows Professional to students for $30. So I've downloaded it, and now, all I have to do isfinish backing up the rest of my files. I'm uploading all my non-music stuff to dropbox (which, by the way, thanks to all of you who checked it out... thanks to those referrals, I now have 5 gigs of free storage instead of 2. It's going to take about five hours to upload all of my remaining photos, but they'll all be safely stored, and in no risk of erasure by the upgrade.

I'm moving all my music over to the desktop PC. It's got over 200 gigs... it can handle it. I love modern technology. I can't believe I'm sending over 12 gigs of music through the air to the PC nearby, while I sit here and type, and while I'm uploading pictures to another storage site. how awesome is that?

So I'm going to take advantage of my remaining hours of backups to write, write, write, and see how much further I can go.

And here, for your interest, is my progress towards my goal of 100k. I'm still a bit behind where I should be, but a couple more nights of writing like last night, and I should be caught up with no problem.

Let's see if we can't get a little less red in there, whaddya think?

Onward!

The most dreaded question

We've all got one. The one that is asked when people find out you are/have writing/written a book. It's the one that makes us cringe, and makes us wish we were elsewhere. The one that makes us wish we'd never brought it up in the first place.

Mine?

"So what's your book about?"

It's exponentially worse when you know the person you're talking to doesn't read the genre you've written in. Exponentially worse than that is when the person you're talking to doesn't even really read at all.

And if you write fantasy like me? Well, might as well just go ahead and take off your hat and take the shame like a man. Err, woman. Because even science fiction gets more respect than fantasy.

My mother broke my heart the other day when she said "Why don't you write something other than that fantasy stuff? Like something about your dad."

Mom, I love you (And I can say this because I know she'll never read this), but no one wants to read about my dad. He was an amazing man... but his story is not remarkable, and it's unlikely it would ever sell. Not as a debut novel, anyway. I'll think about it one day, but I prefer my life to stay out of my writing, at least on the surface.

When I mention that my current work in progress is about an assassin hunting for a demon, I can see their eyes glaze over. They don't get it. And usually, they spout out the usual "I keep meaning to write a book one day." No one ever says "I keep meaning to paint a portrait one day."

There's always this sense that writing isn't a difficult art, that anyone can do it, regardless of actual writing ability, and regardless of the fact that they've never written a word that wasn't for a grade in their lives. And they always think their life story would be interesting to someone else.

But that's a rant for another day.

So tell me, dear readers. What is your most dreaded question?

Never underestimate the power of a good mug

I think that every good writer needs a good mug.

I don't necessarily mean for coffee-- while caffeine is almost a necessity for late-night writing sessions, coffee doesn't have to be its sole vehicle, and some folks (like myself this time last year... nine months pregnant!) can't have it at all. It can be for tea, milk, soda... whatever your greedy little heart desires.

But you need to have a good mug.

I finally found my mug, the one that makes you giggle with glee and contemplate taking it places with you. That you go to writeins with and fill it up with whatever. The mug that you clasp in two hands and savor every sip, because being in that perfect mug makes it taste better.

It might be a mug that your kids made for you in crafts out of clay and glazed with a godawful puke green and with a weirdly twisted handle. It might be a monogrammed, gold-inlaid custom order from Paris that you paid entirely too much for. It might even be that NaNoWriMo mug that I want so much. But you need a mug. If you don't have it yet, then I highly suggest you go on a hunt for it.

My mug is lavender, one of those oversized ones that you get in specialty coffee shops. I got it at Books a Million's Joe Muggs, and it's absolutely perfect. It is a pleasant shape, holds a dangerous amount of coffee that needs frequent amounts of warmups because you get down halfway and it feels too empty. It's the perfect shape and size to press both hands into to warm up my arthritic knuckles (yes, I know I 'm only 27, but hey, you can't tell genetics that I'm too young for this affliction). But best of all, it's BUMPY.

It is covered with evenly spaced raised bumps that I stroke when I'm thinking. When your fingers are achy from too long typing, you can rub them along these magical bumps and they are soothed into pounding out a few more words. And it only cost me $5. $4.55 to be exact, thanks to Violet's discount card.

You should find your mug. Make sure it's a big one (getting up to refill too often is a distraction... even if it's a good idea ergonomically speaking) Just having it can make you feel writerly. Use it only for writing, too, so that when you pour a mug of whatever-you're-drinking, your brain gets shifted into the right place to really get into writing; If you sit down, with no distractions, and your super writing mug (whatever form it may take) - hopefully you'll churn out a masterpiece!